i went to see 2000 Candles for the second time this evening (i saw it last year too). it was really good! i guess i had forgotten most of what happened in it since last year so a lot of it seemed new again (plus im pretty sure they make changes every year).

it definitely got me thinking about christmas.
you should see it.


i should probably take offense..
but they're just too funny.


i like it.


since my realization in the summer that making cards is great fun, i've decided to make christmas cards this year!

it doesn't really feel like christmas is anywhere close to being here.. but im kinda excited.

im ready for the cheesy music
christmas dinners/desserts
houses being covered in oddly arranged lights
christmas baking

(im even secretly excited for snow.. but only for those days when its really quiet cause there's no wind and huge snowflakes cover everything in seconds)

plus, christmas means seeing all my friends together again, just like old times. i cant wait :)


i've pretty much spent the past 36 hours in bed or on the couch.
being sick isn't much fun.

what IS fun is the show Glee. i'm a new fan.


my whole house smells of fried turkey heart and liver.

it's shayna's favorite day of the year!

happy thanksgiving!


I had talked about doing it for quite some time now, but today I finally went to get my G1.

I had taken the online practice test a whole bunch of times and felt confident.

I had looked online for what time the place was open.

Today, I finally got my mom to drive me to orangeville (apparently its the best place to take the test).

We got there, walked to the door, saw a sign on it.

Why did I not hear about this before? Why did their stupid website not TELL me?!

I could have gone to get my G1 anytime in the past two years, but of course the day I actually get around to doing it, THEY'RE ON STRIKE.


why do i never eat

my easter chocolate



Although maybe all these moments are just in my head
I’ll be thinking ‘bout them as I’m lying in bed
And all that I believe might never really come true
But in my mind I’m havin’ a pretty good time with you


i have four kids for the weekend.
how weird is that?


i love beacon.

and you just make me so happy!


please drop out


i was getting sick of being an ostrich. 
sista got skills, eh? 


so i was just listening to the radio and i heard this guy talking about harry potter. naturally, i was intrigued. 

he was talking about how harry potter is has all demonic undertones and things like that. 
harry's lightning bolt scar: apparently the devil came to earth in a lightning bolt. evil harry. 
unicorns: the sign of the anti-christ. harry potter describes them as beautiful!?
they use cauldrons?!
mix potions?!
think of what this all means! 

and then he goes into random tangents that somehow prove his point: who designed kings cross station and the gargoyles on some buildings near there; merlin making invisible armies and the anti christ being even more powerful then him.. and you're thinking, what?

its not like i haven't heard all of this anti-harry potter stuff before, but this guy seems to have a bit crazier ideas. 
anyways, i found it kind of amusing.

"take these books away from your children while you still can!"

ya.. i still think harry potter is awesome. sorry mr 'space man'. 

one of my four summer jobs.


im in a baking mood.

banana bread
breakfast bean cookies 
pecan pie squares

my house smells goooooood.

i was looking through this cook book and i came across a recipe for fortune cookies! 
totally finding some excuse to make those sometime soon.. 


camping camping camping camping camping! 


just a dream

i had such a dream-filled sleep last night.

the first one that i remember involved me being very pregnant and very close to giving birth. it took place in the guest bedroom at my oma and opas house (where i was sleeping in reality). i remember talking to jon feddema on msn.. im pretty sure he was making fun of me and i responded by saying something like, "shut up! im about to give birth! be nice" except that every time i tried to type a word, it came out in emoticons. i was very frustrated because i didnt have time to fix it-i was running out of time before id be in labour! (there was a specific time that you go into labour.. i think it was 7:30 or something). anyways, i got off of the computer and my mom was there looking at her watch and telling me it was time. i was lying there and suddenly i thought: frig. how have i not been scared about the pain of childbirth until right now? ah! thats when the thought hit me that i had to pee and all i could think of was that i was going to pee on my baby (thanks, rachelle) so i asked if i had time to use the bathroom and my mom said yes. i got up to go and i guess i partially woke up at the same time because i was out of bed actually walking to the bathroom. this is when i touched my stomach and was confused because it was suddenly flat.
ya.. i went back to bed. it was 6am.

anyway, i just remember a couple bits from the next few dreams:
-we went to visit some people and they had a very large dog with HUGE teeth. it was in an area fenced off by umbrellas. you know the ones that are long and have a point on the end? ya. they were shoved into the ground to make a fence. i have no clue how that dog didnt escape. i was scared.
-marina telling me: "I'm nice to dylan, but i've been talking to sean kingston and he thinks im amazing. i'm gonna get some better friends like sean. kyara is so unsupportive- he'll say i'm great and she'll just be like 'uh-huh..' i mean.. come on! plus, he likes my dancing."

ya.. thats all i remember.


so today, the final day. 
the day part of it: not very glamorous. 
SO HOT. and a hail storm? weird. 
anyways, i like getting dressed up. 
those hats were extremely uncomfortable though- and constantly tried to fall off. didnt really enjoy that part, but i guess it goes with the whole experience. we threw them in the air like you're supposed to..i didn't think about the fact that what goes up must come down. those hats have HARD EDGES and are quite painful went the hit your face. ouch. 
also, ive never said thank you so many times. i didnt really mind though, to be honest. 

well it was exciting, and weird, and sad. i really cant get over the fact that im done high school.. it doesnt feel real. 

there are so many people that i wonder if ill ever really see again. 
its an odd thing to say, but ill miss those people who i wasnt that great friends with. the ones that i liked and talked to sometimes but was never close with, that i know i wont just call up and say 'hey, lets hang out'. you'll still see you're close friends after high school, but those other people.. it sucks.
and, sounding like a huge geek, the teachers. ill miss some of those amazing teachers. 

its going to be a hard adjustment, everyone off doing there own thing (especially with me taking a year off and working)
im a little dejected thinking about next year.. im glad that i decided to take a year off, it feels like the right choice.. but i just feel like im going to be so lonely. all my friends will be off meeting new people, making new friends.. who am i gonna meet? 

i've started making a list of things that i have to do this coming year in my free time:
-learn to sew/make clothes
-knit a sweater 
-learn to drive (get my license) 
-get better at photoshop 
-get better at using my camera
-do more photoshoots
-paint and draw more

not a very exciting list thus far. i hope i actually do those things though.

i thought id cry at grad. 
i didnt. 

time for bed


today was my last day of regular high school. holy crap. 


post prom

i can truthfully say that i'm not at all disappointed
i couldn't really have asked for a better night/next day

our after after  party was the best idea ever

i'm tired, and happy.  


tomorrow is a day for change 


it scares me that i'll be done high school in exactly one month. 
13 more school days, 2 exam days, graduation. 

i know that it wont seem like a big deal to me later, but right now it feels like everything i know and love is ending. the past couple of days have been a big reminder of some of the things im really going to miss. 

now that the play is over, i can no longer put off thinking about university. crap. 

how the heck did i get here so fast?


zero for seven. 
what am i gonna do?


aaaaand the victoria day fireworks have begun. 

im thinking this year's wont be quite the same 




I was told a few weeks back that resting my laptop straight on my stomach is bad for my womb and all that. Ever since, whenever I put it on my stomach without a binder or something in between, I swear I can feel my insides getting damaged. I know that the feeling is all in my head.. but its enough to make me move the laptop elsewhere. 


i sort of hate having good dreams
i mean the ones that you wake up from thinking, 'crap. it was only a dream' 
it's like a little trick of your mind. you're fooled into thinking that your wishes have come true, only to be slapped in the face with reality when you wake up. 
this happened last night. 

i have so much reading and memorizing to do. i find that when i have a ton of work to do i get overwhelmed and end up getting next to nothing done. how can i motivate myself?

rumors opens in twenty four days. why does it feel like we haven't even started? i apologize in advance. also, my english ISU being due the same week isn't exactly getting me excited. i really need to get my act together (no pun intended). thesis and outline due thursday.. what the heck am i gonna do. 

BUT--i don't have to worry about finding a prom dress anymore. woohooo


note to self: just because you plugged the straightener in and didn't turn it to on doesn't mean that it wasn't set to on already. 




who would have thought you could get a tour at the fire station at 10pm? 



should clean

should read

should memorize 

should stop ruining my nails when i'm stressed 

should take that lovely wallpaper down 

should be happy about the long weekend. 



so it seems that i am sick, yet again. 
this week just keeps getting better! 

julia nunes is amazing.
also, thanks to my dear sister for the beautiful portrait of me. 



so i've finally joined. 
its kinda weird. 

FM radio-joshua james