just a dream

i had such a dream-filled sleep last night.

the first one that i remember involved me being very pregnant and very close to giving birth. it took place in the guest bedroom at my oma and opas house (where i was sleeping in reality). i remember talking to jon feddema on msn.. im pretty sure he was making fun of me and i responded by saying something like, "shut up! im about to give birth! be nice" except that every time i tried to type a word, it came out in emoticons. i was very frustrated because i didnt have time to fix it-i was running out of time before id be in labour! (there was a specific time that you go into labour.. i think it was 7:30 or something). anyways, i got off of the computer and my mom was there looking at her watch and telling me it was time. i was lying there and suddenly i thought: frig. how have i not been scared about the pain of childbirth until right now? ah! thats when the thought hit me that i had to pee and all i could think of was that i was going to pee on my baby (thanks, rachelle) so i asked if i had time to use the bathroom and my mom said yes. i got up to go and i guess i partially woke up at the same time because i was out of bed actually walking to the bathroom. this is when i touched my stomach and was confused because it was suddenly flat.
ya.. i went back to bed. it was 6am.

anyway, i just remember a couple bits from the next few dreams:
-we went to visit some people and they had a very large dog with HUGE teeth. it was in an area fenced off by umbrellas. you know the ones that are long and have a point on the end? ya. they were shoved into the ground to make a fence. i have no clue how that dog didnt escape. i was scared.
-marina telling me: "I'm nice to dylan, but i've been talking to sean kingston and he thinks im amazing. i'm gonna get some better friends like sean. kyara is so unsupportive- he'll say i'm great and she'll just be like 'uh-huh..' i mean.. come on! plus, he likes my dancing."

ya.. thats all i remember.


so today, the final day. 
the day part of it: not very glamorous. 
SO HOT. and a hail storm? weird. 
anyways, i like getting dressed up. 
those hats were extremely uncomfortable though- and constantly tried to fall off. didnt really enjoy that part, but i guess it goes with the whole experience. we threw them in the air like you're supposed to..i didn't think about the fact that what goes up must come down. those hats have HARD EDGES and are quite painful went the hit your face. ouch. 
also, ive never said thank you so many times. i didnt really mind though, to be honest. 

well it was exciting, and weird, and sad. i really cant get over the fact that im done high school.. it doesnt feel real. 

there are so many people that i wonder if ill ever really see again. 
its an odd thing to say, but ill miss those people who i wasnt that great friends with. the ones that i liked and talked to sometimes but was never close with, that i know i wont just call up and say 'hey, lets hang out'. you'll still see you're close friends after high school, but those other people.. it sucks.
and, sounding like a huge geek, the teachers. ill miss some of those amazing teachers. 

its going to be a hard adjustment, everyone off doing there own thing (especially with me taking a year off and working)
im a little dejected thinking about next year.. im glad that i decided to take a year off, it feels like the right choice.. but i just feel like im going to be so lonely. all my friends will be off meeting new people, making new friends.. who am i gonna meet? 

i've started making a list of things that i have to do this coming year in my free time:
-learn to sew/make clothes
-knit a sweater 
-learn to drive (get my license) 
-get better at photoshop 
-get better at using my camera
-do more photoshoots
-paint and draw more

not a very exciting list thus far. i hope i actually do those things though.

i thought id cry at grad. 
i didnt. 

time for bed


today was my last day of regular high school. holy crap. 


post prom

i can truthfully say that i'm not at all disappointed
i couldn't really have asked for a better night/next day

our after after  party was the best idea ever

i'm tired, and happy.